Yes , I am that hopeless !!

 my facebook statues during the past seven months . from the day I met you. Read them from bottom to top




For the past 7 months , every night when I go to sleep I see your beautiful angelic perfect face with your bright smile upon it and I wonder how could u sleep at night ? Because I obviously can't




I want to stroll down chelsea bridge , close my eyes and smell your tom ford perfume. And then when I reopen my eyes I want to see that lovely naughty smile and those glowing hazel eyes looking at me. Is this too much to ask for ?


I can't sleep coz my mood is down , my throat is tightening and my eyes are full of tears.. I want to be in Chelsea bridge now , I never wanted to leave the place nor the beautiful people in there, I literally do not want anything in here , I am ready to throw everything behind for one more day in Chelsea bridge I swear to GOD.. plz don't comment on this , I just feel like saying it out loud.




It's been 3 months since I left my heart in London,miss my friend ♥ Odi ♥ ,our endless calls ,our endless messages& his invaluable support.I Miss London cold nights,bright days,busy underground,the smell of milk everywhere,the precious people who live there.Not 2 mention Khalid Mishary & Tahani.I miss my true friend♥ Yasser♥-the 1 who has been always there for me-I love you guys and I think of you every single day


Even if the temperature is 0 in London right now , take me away , I don't mind freezing in there, PLZ




it's been 2 weeks since I left my heart in London




The only memory that I can't take off my head is that I was in Chelsea bridge standing and waiting for 2 hours in the street in a very windy and rainy day....and it was beautiful so beautiful...coz every time a door opens , I was expecting to see the most beautiful face on earth with those gorgeous divine hazel eyes that I can kill for..




Chelsea bridge is all what I am thinking about these days.




' I am off to bed and deep inside I hope Chelsea would visit me in my dreams coz I terribly miss that smile and those gorgeous hazel exotic eyes that you can't help but gaze into.ya rb.....




Thinking about Chelsea and the pain will double If I Leave now.






Surprisingly , All I want for Halloween , 3eed al7aj , Christmas , New year 2011 , my next birthday is -You- ... Yes I'm that hopeless !






I could stare at you all day and never get bored :)






if only you could let me sleep ONE night without thinking about ur divine hazel eyes and the memorable smell of Tom Ford Oud Wood..




I truly deeply miss everything and I feel like flying a helicopter to Chelsea NOW
...Can you step out of my head for a second ? I really need to sleep now..




I smell Vanilla ♥ despite the fact that I used to hate the smell of Vanilla but it's all history now :)




don't wanna be away from Chelsea bridge. should I stay or should I go ?




Those gorgeous hazel eyes that you cannot help but gaze into


I so love the Hazel eyes ,that big smile and the essence of Chelsea bridge..so so so so much that i can't put into words..




want another night like last nigh :) Happy Eid.






cant think of anything but the LAST two nights.

Is it that hard to be Straight if you are an artist ?

  

    I believe the answer is a BIG yes !! 

  but before that just let me explain why is this true ..

   

   An artist is a person engaged in one or more of any of a broad spectrum of activities related to creating art, practicing the arts and/or demonstrating an art.

  Someone who has been involved into arts long time ago cannot be normal in his own life. 

Art is another language , life  , and religion. 

An artist can be a writer , actor , sculptor , singer , photographer , filmmaker , painter or other forms of arts. 

people like these do live in illusion and use their imagination 25 hours a day. We buy their forms of arts 

and forgot that each piece has a story of its own and each piece means time , brain and life consuming. 

 How on earth do we criticize and accuse them for being atheists ? homos ? weirdos ? playboys ? playgirls ? alcoholics ? 

  These professions are not easy to master !! you cannot compare someone who works in film industry with someone who answers phone calls for customer services !! 

   I wouldn't be expecting the second person to go to a gay club or a stripper bar to have fun !! or to take drugs or lock himself up for long hours or to have a strange taste of style ..etc..

because the one who answers the phone hasn't squeeze his full imagination ( till it hurts )in his day and he can go to bed and sleep soundly at night.

but what about the other one ? 

 can he sleep at night ? and if he can ? will he or she be in artistic mood in the morning ? Is it that easy to wake up in the morn and go to dance ballet ? 

  if an artist acts and thinks and lives like a lawyer or a Dr ! what is the difference then between two unlike professions ? a serious job and a dreamy job ? 

Is it the txtbook or the piece of certificate each one holds ? 

 Are these the things that really matter ? Do we choose to be artists or is art something genetic ? 

and if so , then why the hell many people question the personality of an Artist ? 

Do we really need certain features to do such a job ? and if we have these creative special features , 

 do they make a person different than his siblings , his cousins , his classmates and his entire world ? 

     Art , despite its awesomeness , has its flaws. 

Spasiba 
   


   

    

A quiet birthday for a Dancing QUEEN :)

    


        To start , Dancing queen is my nickname given to me by my sweet Turkish friend who I used to party hard with and for that she used to call me " my dancing queen" 


    
      It was the quietest day ever !! 6 of March.. 
   the very lovely date in my whole life..
   Yes , my birthday this year was simple and almost like any other day. 
  I used to have big ones every year for the fact that I adore such celebrations. 
  I think birth and specially my birth was something incomparable to anything in LIFE. 
 I might be strange , needy and drama queen , but in the same time , I am different , I always knew that there was something different about me. I always knew that I could be an artist and nothing else because I see the life from an artistic perspective and that doesn't make me weirdo . 
   In fact , It makes me irreplaceable. Yes, I sometime think of myself as someone different than the others and for that reason , I think I deserve a proper birthday but .. it was a very simple one... and that hurts me the most if I must be honest. 






    Last year , I was completely alone in my birthday and I spent it in London. For some reasons , I did not accept that fact and I gave myself a wonderful day.
   clearly , I remember the details of that day , 6 ,March , 2010 
   ( Walked around Covent garden , watched the street performers , had breakfast at " Yalla Yalla"  in Soho , bought the ticket for the late show , strolled up and down Regent's street and had some coffee in Starbucks , walked around London city centre , allowed myself the luxury of an express manicure in  " John Lewis " in Oxford street, painted my nails in dark red from Nails inc , bought myself a small birthday gift ( 2 pairs of Primark underwears ) , had a tasty dinner at Vapiano ( a great Italian restaurant ) ,  attended " Chicago " show at Cambridge theatre in Piccadilly  , went home at midnight and watched my favorite songs on youtube till I slept soundly ". 
  Man , I had a blast. 


  This year , I am home and surrounded by people but I did nothing. 


   My day details were : 


   I went to have Spa manicure and pedicure at Oriana Salon which happens to have its Spa section with a spectacular view over the Red Sea.


  I laid down.. enjoyed a 2 hours beauty session with the unbeatable beauty of the sea view...chose a nail polish..warm plum from Essie, had a good White Mocha coffee from my beloved cafe shop ( Starbucks )...read a novel called " the Monk who sold his Ferrari " which is not my type of reads but I have to read it as I'm an active member of of a very warm book club which is based in Jeddah. 
 With my legs socked in water , I had my coffee in a hand and my book in the other and I stayed motionless till the end of the session. It was splendid.


    I also got one birthday gift ( a Blackberry Torch ) from Mum and an invitation to Lunch @ a new Italian restaurant in Jeddah called " Margarita" from my sister Maha .


  well, I'm already in love with my new phone !! and the food was wonderful in there !! I definitely will go back with my bunch of friends sometime in the near future. 


 then what ? I listened to some songs that I love in such a day... the same songs that I listened to last year.

Super Trouper

MaMMa Mia - Dancing Queen

And when you get the chance... You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen. !! all-time favorite scene and song :0

Chipmunks - Happy Birthday to You!!!

Marilyn Monroe Happy Birthday Mr President

  I wanted to feel the moment and the special day by listening to my favorite birthday songs...and surfing the net ..chatting to nobody and 

  having a great fear of the next year but pretending to be smily and all.. 

.. there was nothing special about it..

..it was so much different than my other previous birthdays..

perhaps , it is for the good ? 
 perhaps , this quiet birthday will turn my year to be the year of my life ? I only hope so.. 

  

I still want a birthday cake though .. I really do ... 
   a Vanilla cake to specify..

  Happy Birthday to me.. I LOVE ME. 

Spasiba .

Mrs Dalloway - a Saudi version.

Have you ever heard of Mrs Dalloway ?  

   Well, if not , then it's a novel by the great English author : Virginia Woolf . not a normal one but a very best-seller novel if I must say.The novel is all about  a SINGLE simple day in London  in the life of Mrs.Dalloway. In Mrs Dalloway, all of the action, except flashbacks, takes place on a day in June. 

      I often find myself thinking about her and the novel, the tiny details and the fact that for years I have been spending single simple days wondering around London just like her. Simple days. In March , in June or in December. It does not really matter as long as I can freshly sense the milky British smell everywhere.

  I must say that I am certainly fond of Europe : Britain to name a few. 

    From time to time , I remember Mrs.Dalloway and the day she spent in London. Am I jealous ? I cannot say so nor say otherwise. but what I always think of is what if I ever have a one single day to spend in London , what would I do then ? JUST me and a very simple day.   

   I want to spend the day in Trafalgar Square with a good book and my lovely Ipod. watching tourists hanging around and taking pictures with Nelson's Column , which is guarded by four lion statues. people coming out or going in “ The National Gallery “. This was the very first thing that came to my mind.   

  but which book ? well, I could simply say “ Mrs.Dalloway “ but then I would sound terribly boring and predictable and I can’t stand being called any of these horrible adjectives. The book would probably be

  “ Confessions of a shopaholic “. don’t ask me why ? I like it. I find it super amusing. I also like the fact that the events take place in London.  

     As for my Ipod , I will play Amy Winehouse - Album - Back to Black. and I should be in a perfect mood for the rest of the day.   

  I then would like to talk a walk to Covent garden where I can have an aromatic cup of English tea. - Earl grey -     

  I then would like to continue walking towards “ Soho “ wondering around and laughing to death at shop's displays. It used to be my favorite when I was facing bad mood days.

    Later on , I would like to enjoy a tasty frozen yogurt from SNOG while heading towards Regent's street.

 In Regent’s street , I will follow my very usual routine ( e.g Checking out “ Ferrari Store “ Apple store , and “ Liberty Department Store “ ) ,

 I then would probably be having lunch at my favorite Thai restaurant in Oxford street.  

   After that , I take bus number 82 to Camden town. Camden is not a normal place in London. It is , for me , the very best part of London.<3 

  my bus should drop me by Camden town station and I will have to walk a block or two to Camden Market.   then what ?  then all the magics in the world would seem useless and unentertaining.

Do you know why ?

it is because Camden has it all

 musics , antiques, shops , street performers , bars , food market  , and the lovely odd-looking people.

   I usually spend 3 hours in there before I take again the bus to Oxford street.    An hour later , the bus should be stopping around the corner of Oxford circus. I walk up towards Selfridges . I go inside , do the same old job : checking Selfridges cosmetics section - flirting with the gay cosmetics experts and have a good laugh with them - most importantly : when I pass by Tom Ford , I definitely will try out some of “ Black Orchid “ perfume, pretending to be checking it out for the first time and the truth is that I have a bottle of it back home but can't resist it anyway . wondering around Selfridges sections - mainly ground floor- for an hour or so. If I have money, then an express manicure would do no harm to anyone and it will make me feel chic and businesswoman-like.   

    Heading to the north of Oxford street , doing some window-shopping ( My favorite ) and then time to go to

“ Primark “ to buy some lingerie , womanly cheap stuff but who cares ?  :0

  I personally do not like the place and I do not understand all the buzz about it. It is a clear-cut example of the saying “ All That Meat And No Potatoes “ which means

a large women with no boobs .

  Yes, It is a very huge store but the quality is rubbish.    

  Thereafter , I will head to Marble Arch and cross the street to Hyde park. I happily should pass the speaker's corner and I cheerfully should say hello to the handsome football players.   

  I reach my destination , A place like no other , a paradise on earth , my beloved spot in London , 

  “ the Serpentine lake “ , I go to the Cafe to order a cup of tea- a paper cup- so I can carry it around the park with me , and with a pack of Malboro light ,  I look around to find a shaded place and I lay on the grass... letting the sweet smell of the wet grass to capture my brain cells .. telling myself million times how much I love life..kicking nonchalantly everything I happen to put my feet on..Closing my eyes softly and listening carelessly to the dogs howling around , the ducks quacking , the kids racing and the sun shining. My hair is all over the grass and it smells grassy , but I like it.

   I hum to my self  Grace kelly ‘s beautiful song.... 

  I'm singing in the rain

Just singing in the rain

What a glorious feelin'I'm happy again

I'm laughing at clouds So dark up above

The sun's in my heart And I'm ready for love 

Let the stormy clouds

chase Everyone from the place

Come on with the rain

I've a smile on my faceI walk down the lane

With a happy refrain

Just singin',

Singin' in the rain 

   I can stay like that for a lifetime , but , I must have something to eat, I should take the pedestrianpathway on the sidewalk to knightsbridge , there is a short path, just behind the Serpentine lake.

 In a minute or two , I will be standing next to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel which stands in the beginning of the knightsbridge and which was the most expensive hotel in London before the opening of Savoy hotel. 

    I ask myself what would I like to eat ? and although I like to spend some time in Knightsbridge ,

I honestly do not like any restaurants in there. I walk up and down for a little and then I head to Harrods- "back door like all arabs " which takes me directly to the food hall where I line up for a good while to be seated in Pizzeria. time to eat , see you after I enjoy my mouth-watering Lasagna :0  

     At 8, Harrods closes its door s, so it is time for Shisha somewhere nice around the area- checking out guys and girls is not a very interesting hobby but if you are in Knightsbridge , then you must allow yourself some of entertainment shows , you should try it at least once. It is hilariously funny. what the hell do they think of themselves ?

  There is  a very suitable song in my head which says “ are we human or are we dancers ? by the killers. REALLY REALLY , are they humans or are they dancers. NEVERMIND , it is my day and I won’t spoil it.    

    I finally will walk up from Knightsbridge heading to Hyde park corner, then Green park till I reach Piccadilly circus.. ( this was my favorite walking path ) crossing all the stations till I come close to Piccadilly circus. I then flag down a black cab and go home. black cabs are extremely expensive but it is a single day in london and a black cab is a must.   

   Going to my place by the Thames river, looking out of the window , eying London eye from a distance , listening to Big ben ... amused... dazzled by its beauty , mesmerized by the sweet sensation of being in London.

   I think the world of you London. I really do and I miss you every single moment.